Thursday, December 6, 2007

HC: A Public Service Announcement

Boys and men, does your life stink? Do you want to end it all? Do you want to be immortal? Do you want to be hated forever, but at least remembered?

Don’t follow the herd by killing your estranged wife or girlfriend and then killing yourself.

Don’t follow the herd by shooting fellow students and then killing yourself.

Don’t follow the herd by massacring innocent people in a shopping mall and then killing yourself.

Be original! Be clever! Do something different! SHOOT YOURSELF FIRST!

It’s okay to end your own miserable life, but don’t take others with you. Leave a note explaining 1) who you hate, 2) why you hate them, 3) how you COULD’VE killed a bunch of strangers or your wife/children or students in your school, but you chose not to. You’ll still be famous, but much less hated.

Boys, men, remember SHOOT YOURSELF FIRST. Say it with me: SHOOT YOURSELF FIRST.


The Write Bunch said...

DW: I think you should submit this to the New York's very timely and very true!!

sezhoo said...

You betcha! I say add a jingle and it'd be positively viral!
... everybody skate now.