RS: Theatre of the Absurd

Okay, what is it about those crazy Europeans and their theatre? I went to BAM last night to see Krum. It is an Israeli play, in Polish, with English subtitles. Read that sentence again if you will and sit with that thought. Oh, yeah, and it was two hours and forty five minutes without an intermission. I know, I know, I sit through movies of that length—increasingly so these days as directors don't seem to know how to tell a simple (and short) story well. Michael Clayton, which I saw over the weekend, was about 2 hours too long. Now, I know that people are touting this movie as a nearly perfect cinematic experience. I was so bored, it took all the self control I could muster not to whip out a toe-nail clipper and work my way through a much-needed pedicure. Honestly, the only thing that stopped me—other than the fact that it is a disgusting thing to do in public especially when one of those crispy little suckers could fly into someone's popcorn, most troublingly mine—was the fact that I didn't have a toe-nail clipper with me. And if the movie had gone on 10 minutes longer, I would have used it to open a vein.

Now, back to the Poles. This play is about some unhappy souls. I know all the Jewish holidays, save Purim, are about suffering—and I don't really know for sure that Purim doesn't celebrate some sad story, but I am pretty sure no one has to starve themselves. But this takes suffering to a new level. As we closed in on 3 hours, my ass started doing some suffering too. They passed out some Polish apple cake at 2 hours 30, but they didn't have enough to share, so my stomach growled as my left butt cheek throbbed.

True to form for European theatre, I saw a nipple. However, I have never seen a show where another cast member suckles on it. A woman in a dress rolled around on the floor and threw her legs over her head in a spangled mini-skirt and I don't think she was wearing underwear. If she was, her panties needed a shave. A hot Italian guy fondled himself for about 10 minutes on two different occasions. I had two problems with it: 1) my sight lines weren't good for that particular portion and 2) at the after party, I got to the buffet table just after him. I'm sure he washed his hands, but you just can't be sure.

It was also a little disconcerting when the lead guy mooned the audience just after the Bar Mitzvah and was wearing underwear that said Deutschland on them. But they were adorable underwear.

It was wacky and occasionally wonderful and often quite funny—but it was weird. And it was about a 10 minute story when you boiled the ocean. I'm not sure I can recommend it as an intellectually stimulating experience, but I would definitely recommend it as a unique experience.